need another drink. this is the easiest way
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Sorry my hands just texted you
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize