Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
