This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
