dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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