He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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