is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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