We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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