Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
More tranny stories later!
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I could fuck to npr.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
