My first STD was from a foam party
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
