I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
