thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
