I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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