Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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