Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
being pregnant is like rehab
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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