using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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