I think im going to throw up on grandma
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
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He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
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I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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