have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
