Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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