sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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