So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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