Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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