What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize