lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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