You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
We need to get me chipped asap
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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