Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
