he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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