Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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