first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
