is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
