I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
We got so high we made milksteak
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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