The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
