Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
