Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
