Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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