they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
