Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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