How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
