so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
