weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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