it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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