the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
