There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
