Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Randomize