also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
