What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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