Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
This beer is not sobering me up at all
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
