I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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