Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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