you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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