I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
