Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
as a side note pls kill me
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