OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
