if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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