If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
