You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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