So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Randomize
