when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
