They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
