Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
