mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
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