i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Farmville is her only friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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